The divorce process is challenging, especially when you are divorcing a challenging person or a sociopath. This is a person who manipulated, intimidated, or deceived you in your marriage and will likely not take the end of your marriage lightly. Thus, you need help understanding how to handle them and protect yourself during divorce.
There is a lot that a skilled divorce lawyer can do for you, including helping you understand what to expect, how to overcome some of the challenges you will face, and how to obtain a favorable outcome from the process regardless of the obstacles. A competent attorney can reduce the negative impact of dealing with a sociopath on you and your children (if you have any).
Understanding a Sociopath
A divorce is usually inevitable when underlying issues make it difficult for a married couple to live or stay together. While some marital problems can be resolved, people with problematic personalities, especially personalities that pose harm to the other partner, can be challenging to remain married to. Sociopaths usually have little or zero regard for other people’s rights. Their lack of this regard is also without remorse. They can manipulate, intimidate, or deceive without thinking about the hurt their victims are feeling.
Although sociopathy is an antisocial personality trait, it does not imply that the person is completely withdrawn from others. It refers to someone who has no regard for the laws and refuses to act according to set rules and regulations. He/she knows acceptable behavior but will not abide by it. People with this kind of personality are outwardly very charming, making it difficult to see the type of person they truly are until you are in a deep relationship with them. They engage and socialize very easily and quickly.
Many people live with the personality for years without a proper diagnosis. This is because they fail to acknowledge that they have a problem or that they are a problem. While some can be assisted through therapy to be better and enjoy better relationships, most sociopaths live in denial, making it difficult for them to build lasting relationships.
If you have tried remaining married to a sociopath without success and would like to try divorce, it helps to know that the process will not be easy. You will likely endure more resistance than you did when you were married to them. A sociopath will first try to talk you out of divorce. If this does not work, they will resort to their true colors of intimidation, threats, or manipulation. You need adequate assistance to handle them well, primarily through a complex divorce process.
What Divorcing a Sociopath Is Like
When your ex-partner is a sociopath, you must be prepared to fight for your rights and the outcome you want from the divorce process. Some of the issues you could encounter when dealing with a sociopath include intimidation, deception, and manipulation.
A sociopath uses intimidating behavior and words. They can also instill extreme fear in those around them. Although they are not always physically abusive, sociopaths can cause their partners and children to experience extreme anxiety. They create situations or make utterances that make their loved ones fear for their personal safety, financial security, or other people's safety.
For example, a sociopath can cut you off financially for disagreeing with them. They can also make it difficult or outrightly stop any form of socialization between their loved ones and other people. Others are emotionally abusive towards their spouses and children and can use belittling or insulting words to lower their self-esteem.
If you have endured this throughout your marriage, it will unlikely stop once you start the divorce process. What will likely happen is that the sociopath’s intimidation, manipulation, threats, and deception will intensify. They will do their best to stop the divorce or gain an advantage over you without remorse.
For example, they could attempt to take away your children or use the children as leverage for you to reconsider the divorce or give up more than you should. A sociopath is not interested in their children’s best interests but for their selfish gains. They do not care about what is best for you, the innocent children, or the right thing to do. They will fight for custody and more time with the children, even when they know they cannot handle it well.
A sociopath can even fight for full custody of your children, not because they are good at parenting or it is suitable for the children, but to make things difficult for you. Fighting for custody is an indirect threat or intimidation against you, even without a valid reason. They only care about controlling the matter and forcing you to agree to things you would otherwise not agree to.
A sociopath can also fight for custody so they will not have to pay child support. This is possible when they know about your inability to pay child support. They intend to make you look bad or push you to agree to their whims.
A skilled attorney will not give up fighting for your rights and presenting evidence to help the court make the best resolution for you and your children’s best interests. Your attorney will also advise you against talking to or resolving issues with your sociopath partner to avoid problems that could compromise your situation further.
Your sociopath partner can also try to gain an unreasonable or unfair advantage over your financial issues. Remember that sociopaths are highly deceptive, and they do not consider their words or actions as dishonest. They create problems and lies to distort your public image. Sometimes, they even believe the lies they create in their minds. This makes it challenging to agree with a sociopath partner. For example, they can lie about their income, mainly if they are self-employed. They will also not be forthcoming about community and separate property.
If your sociopath partner earns more money, they can use deception to avoid paying child and spousal support. In a divorce, they can argue that their finances are separate, not community property. This can worsen if they have an incompetent attorney.
Your skilled attorney will use every available resource to ensure your rights are not infringed in the divorce. They will also obtain evidence to counter your sociopath partner’s claims regarding community and separate property. A competent divorce attorney will also not allow your partner to manipulate the law to your advantage.
Here are other issues you can expect when separating from a sociopath:
A Sociopath Partner Can Disregard Court Orders
A divorce process can result in many court orders as the court decides what is best for you, your partner, and the children. Sadly, sociopath partners are known for their disregard for court orders since they do not care about laws, regulations, or the rights of other people. Your partner will likely disregard all or some court orders, especially those that protect your or your children's rights. This will be a great challenge because you must constantly seek a court’s help, ensuring your rights are respected during and after divorce.
A sociopath does not consider a court order as a directive or something they should do but as something they can ignore at will. Remember that their personality's hallmark is refusing to follow the rules and respecting authority. Thus, the court orders issued during your divorce will not have any meaning. Here are some of the issues you could encounter when divorcing a sociopath:
- They can continually violate the child custody order set by the court.
- They can insist on a child custody and visitation schedule they prefer, even after the judge has issued a court order.
- They can violate the terms of a court order by involving the children in their marital issues or criticizing you to the children.
- They could refuse to pay child support or alimony or make intentional late payments.
Contempt actions are punishable in California. Thus, you can report any violation of a court order by your partner to ensure the law takes its course.
Your Divorce Could Marke The End of an Abusive Marriage
A sociopath can manipulate, intimidate, threaten, and even physically abuse you in marriage. Once your partner’s behavior escalates into physical abuse, their personality disorder does not matter. You must take action to protect yourself and your children. Your first step would be obtaining a protective order against them. This could kick-start the divorce process. However, it will not be as easy as you hope. The sociopath will manipulate the system, issue threats, or use intimidation to obtain an upper hand in the matter.
Fortunately, there are laws you can use to obtain a favorable outcome for your case. The Family Code is particularly protective of abused spouses and children. Your attorney can help you fight for what you deserve as you navigate the complex divorce process together.
Tips to Consider When Divorcing a Sociopath
The divorce process is generally challenging for everyone, but it is more challenging when you are divorcing a sociopath. Here are helpful tips that can make the process more manageable and successful for you:
Avoid Engaging Them With Emotional Responses
Divorce processes are usually very emotional. This is because they mark the end of a marriage between people who vowed to love and care for each other for life. You will likely become very emotional, especially when your partner tries to manipulate, deceive, or intimidate you. Engaging your partner with emotional responses means allowing your emotions to get in the way of your decision-making. This is possible when you see how unfair they are to you and your children.
However, this can work to your disadvantage. You must be firm and fight for what you deserve for the divorce process to succeed. When you have to fight for your children and assets in a divorce, you must not let your emotions get in the way. Focus your mind on what you need and your children’s best interests. An emotionally manipulative person will use all tactics possible to ensure the case outcome does not favor you, but you should not let that happen.
There are strict decisions you have to make during a divorce. For example, you must discuss child support, custody, visitation, spousal support, and property division. A sociopath partner can take advantage of your emotions to gain an upper hand in these discussions. If you feel threatened, a skilled attorney can help you overcome your fear to ensure you fully and effectively discuss critical matters. Once you take charge of the situation, you can effectively consider your children’s best interests and discuss them during the divorce proceedings.
Allowing yourself to be emotionally triggered by a sociopath to the point of not effectively making decisions or thinking of the right thing to do is detrimental to you and your children. Remember what you need and what your children deserve, and fight for it regardless of your partner's intimidation, threats, and resistance.
Here are some of the strategies that could help you remain calm during a divorce proceeding with a sociopath:
Hire a Skilled and Experienced Attorney
Although you can go through a divorce alone, you need an attorney for legal representation, guidance, advice, and physical and emotional support. Remember how difficult a divorce is, especially if you are divorcing a sociopath. You need adequate help, advice, and support to handle any resistance, intimidation, or threats you face.
The right person to work with is a skilled and experienced divorce lawyer. This attorney understands divorce processes, the Family Code, and the rights of children and spouses in a divorce. They will be able to advise you on the right approach, your options, and your rights to make the process successful.
An experienced attorney will fight for your rights and the best interests of your children. They will gather evidence and use all available resources to ensure that your partner does not gain an unfair advantage over you.
Talk to a Mental Health Expert
Divorcing a sociopath will present so many challenges that could affect your mental and emotional health. You can quickly lose yourself in the battle or give up before you obtain a fair outcome for your case. A mental health expert can help you navigate through the process successfully without being emotionally or mentally drained. They will also help you manage your emotions to ensure you think right and make the best decisions every step of the process.
Remember how damaging complex emotions, like those triggered by sociopaths, can be to a divorce process? A skilled therapist can help you manage those emotions for a successful process.
Enjoy The Support of Family and Friends
If you have people who love and care about you, this is the time you need their support the most. Family and friends' support is invaluable when facing a difficult journey like a divorce. They will be even more helpful when you are dealing with a sociopath. Your loved ones can provide the emotional and physical support you need to handle your emotions and make critical decisions.
Your friends and family can also provide financial support if you need help with legal fees and other financial needs accompanying a divorce. They can also care for your children as you attend meetings with your attorney or court hearings.
However, refrain from soliciting their advice on legal matters, as they lack the skills and experience to advise you on divorce and custody matters. If you need legal advice, talk to your attorney.
Have the Courage to Seek the Court’s Help
If your partner is emotionally or physically abusive, it could take you a long time to seek help or even file for a divorce. Some people remain in abusive marriages because they lack the courage to take a bold step. This happens mainly in relationships where the abusive partner has intimidated or threatened the spouse into silence. If you have decided to divorce a sociopath, you must gain the courage to file a case in court.
This is one bold step that will mark the beginning of your freedom from abuse, intimidation, and harassment. You need a lot of courage to stand up for yourself and your children. You also need sufficient courage to contact a divorce attorney to discuss issues in your marriage, your needs, and your children’s best interests. The courage you need can sometimes mean leaving the matter for a judge in a family law court to decide.
Find a Competent Divorce Lawyer Near Me
If you are going through a divorce in Los Angeles, you need all the help and support you can get to navigate the complex legal processes and enjoy a favorable outcome. You need even more help and support when divorcing a sociopath. Working with a skilled attorney helps you understand what your sociopath partner is capable of and how you can handle them and protect yourself for your and your children’s sake.
We handle all kinds of divorce proceedings at Los Angeles Divorce Lawyer. Thus, we can help you through the legal processes when divorcing your sociopath partner. We understand how difficult it can be, especially if you have endured years of intimidation, threats, abuse, and fear in your marriage. We could ensure your and your children’s best interests are considered every step of the way. Call us at 310-695-5212 to start the legal process with us.
